Bailing Out The Captain and Tennille

As I was reading the gruesome details of the proposed $70 billion bailout for the Big 3 automakers, I started wondering how a company the size of GM, with all its resources and past history of innovation, could be performing so miserably. Then I started thinking about the comparison of GM to The Captain and Tennille.

Sound silly? Maybe. But there are some amazing similarities. Back in the 70's, GM dominated the car industry. They were churning out gas-guzzling muscle cars like the Chevy Camaro, the Pontiac Firebird, and the Chevy Corvette, without much thought about fuel conservation. Meanwhile, halfway around the world, the Japanese were planning the second invasion of The United States. Likewise, while The Captain and Tennille were pounding out drivel like "Muskrat Love", "Love Will Keep Us Together", and "Shop Around", angst-ridden teenagers (like myself) were listening to New Wave and Punk Rock music. It wasn't long before A&M records dropped acts like The Carpenters and The Captain and Tennille, in favor of The Sex Pistols. That's how evolution works: adapt to the new environment or resign yourself to the trash heap of history.

Would The Captain and Tennille have survived if they had shaved their heads, pierced their tongues, and smashed guitars on stage? I guess we'll never know (thank God), but we do know that their thankfully brief moment in the limelight faded as audience tastes changed.

What will happen if The U.S. government gives GM and the other Detroit dinosaurs a bailout? Do you think they will magically become innovative? Hey, they didn't learn their lessons from 30 years ago, so why would we expect a different result this time? Bankruptcy might be painful, but it would force the Gang of 3 into retooling for the future. If the government is stupid enough to give them the money, then it should consider giving The Captain and Tenille $10 or $20 million for a career bailout.