Spitting...It's a Guy Thing!

I was watching a baseball playoff game on TV the other night when I noticed how often the pitcher spat- over and over again, as if his brain wouldn't function until a certain number of loogies had been launched. Although disgusting, it got me thinking about how often guys spit, especially in sports. Guys spit on the hockey rink which makes for an iced loogie. They also spit on the football field, and as noted already, on the baseball diamond.

I've noticed a lot of players spitting on their hands, most notably Big Papi- David Ortiz of the Boston Red Sox. Does that make him hit the ball harder or farther? Who knows, but I sure wouldn't want to do is borrow his batting gloves...Ugh!

Beyond sports, guys spit anywhere and everywhere. You often see guys spitting tobacco juice into a cup which is probably the most disgusting act known. Women seem to find this behavior particularly gross, so memo to all you guys out there: If you are looking for female companionship, ditch the Skoal- try a Tic-Tac instead.

One of the most unusual aspects of spitting will only be found in the men's bathroom. Through careful, though not scientific, observation of male bathroom habits, I've concluded that roughly 50% of all men using a stand-up urinal, spit into it while urinating. Guys know what I'm talking about. Girls, if you don't believe me, ask your man. I can't explain it and it's not like I'm standing in public restrooms documenting this stuff (I have no wish to get by teeth shoved in.) I'm just stating an obvious fact. Maybe spitting during urination is like lining up a ten-foot putt in golf.

The other fact about spitting is that you rarely, if ever, do you see a woman do it in public. Every once in a while, you'll see a woman do it in a movie, like she's really edgy or tough. In real life it just doesn't happen which is a good thing. I don't want to see my wife hocking up a loogie in the WalMart parking lot.

Where am I going with all this? Nowhere, really, but don't give me any grief about it or I'll spit in your eye!