Are They Really Looking for Me?....Really??

I can't figure it out. I don't have a million dollars- not even close. I can't sing, act, or dunk a basketball. Why then, are beautiful sexy women searching for me? It seems like every website I visit on the Internet, there's a picture of a gorgeous woman, usually in her mid-twenties wearing a tight fitting top, with a Marilyn Monroe-like, come-hither look on her face. The caption above the picture teases with phrases like, "Who's Looking for You?", or "One Person is Searching for You?"

Really?

Granted, my wife thinks I'm "cute" but then again she likes cats so it's hard to put a whole lot of faith in her judgement. I guess I can't figure out why if the advertisers can find me wherever I net surf, these beautiful girls can't? And what the heck do they want with me anyway? Like I said, I don't have the kind of money that would qualify me as a "Sugar Daddy." In fact, I'm not sure I would even qualify as a "Molasses Daddy" or "Stevia Daddy" if there are descending rungs of desirability with gold diggers.

And surely these young frauleins aren't after me for my looks for crying out loud. I'm not saying I'm over the hill, but if I were a piece of fruit, I'd be the slightly brown banana sitting on the kitchen counter behind the toaster. Yummy awhile ago, but now, not so much.

Maybe these girls are visually impaired? Yeah! That makes sense! I bet when they surf the net, they are besieged with ads from opthamologists looking for them. You think?