Not only has the current edition of the Arizona Cardinals been derided as "the worst team to ever make the NFL playoffs," nobody gave them a snowball's chance in Hades to beat Atlanta and Carolina, yet here they stand on the precipice of History. If the Cards can capitalize on this 3-week window of opportunity to pour the salve of Championship ointment over the old wounds of perpetual losing and ineptitude, they will establish a new era of achievement, the old days will be relegated to the past, and the Chicago Cubs can take sole possession of "The Biggest Losers" nickname in sports. Sorry, Cubs fans!
Hey, if the Arizona Cardinals can get this far, anything's possible! With that in mind, I'm looking for additional signs of the Apocalypse:
- My 401(k) rebounds and makes it possible for me to retire before my nineties
- My kids pick up their dirty clothes without any pleading, hounding, cajoling, or threatening from me or their mother
- Viagra and Cialis commercials are banned from the airwaves
- Al Franken runs for President in 2012- and wins (just like he did in Minnesota)!
- Gov. Blugojevich shares a batchelor pad with Charlie Sheen and stars in his own reality show.
- Frank Caliendo (celebrity impersonator) and Katy Couric (journalist impersonator) have a torrid affair spawning a child that resembles John Madden.
- Gas drops below $1.00 a gallon.
OK, these signs might appear a bit far-fetched, but so was the idea of the Cardinals going to the Super Bowl. The odds were 200-1 against them at the beginning of the year. The only way they were going to a championship game of any kind was if they paid a scalper for tickets. Now look at them! "Under a Blood-Red Sky....."
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